Friendships play an important role in a child’s emotional and social development. Between the ages of six and nine, children begin to form stronger friendships, learn to work as part of a team, and develop a greater understanding of empathy, kindness, and cooperation. These early relationships help children build confidence, improve communication skills, and create a sense of belonging both at school and within their wider community.
Making friends is exciting, but it can also be challenging. Children are still learning how to share, solve disagreements, express their feelings, and understand different personalities. While occasional conflicts are a normal part of growing up, parents can play an important role in helping children develop the social skills they need to build healthy, lasting friendships.
In this article, we explore why friendships matter, the social skills children develop during the primary school years, and practical ways parents can help their child build positive relationships.
Why Friendships Matter
Healthy friendships provide children with much more than someone to play with. Positive relationships help children develop important life skills that support their emotional well-being and future success.
Children with healthy friendships are more likely to:
- Feel happier and more confident.
- Develop empathy and compassion.
- Learn how to cooperate with others.
- Improve communication skills.
- Build resilience during difficult situations.
- Feel a stronger sense of belonging at school.
- Develop problem-solving and conflict resolution skills.
Children who have supportive friendships often feel more confident trying new experiences because they know they have people they can rely on.
How Social Skills Develop Between Ages 6 and 9
During the primary school years, children become more aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings. They begin to understand that friendships require kindness, respect, honesty, and compromise.
At this stage, children typically learn how to:
- Listen when others are speaking.
- Take turns during conversations and activities.
- Work together towards shared goals.
- Respect different opinions.
- Recognise when someone feels upset.
- Solve disagreements more calmly.
- Understand the importance of fairness.
Although these skills improve with age, children still need guidance and plenty of opportunities to practise them.
Did You Know?
Children develop many of their social skills by observing adults. Everyday interactions at home provide valuable lessons about kindness, patience, respect, and communication.
Teaching Your Child How to Be a Good Friend
Friendship is a skill that develops over time. Parents can help by discussing what makes someone a kind and trustworthy friend.
Encourage your child to:
- Be kind and respectful.
- Listen when others are talking.
- Include others during games and activities.
- Keep promises whenever possible.
- Share and take turns.
- Offer help when someone needs it.
- Celebrate their friends’ achievements.
- Apologise when they make mistakes.
Helping children understand that friendships require effort encourages healthier and more meaningful relationships.
Helping Children Make New Friends
Not every child finds it easy to make friends. Some children are naturally outgoing, while others need more time to feel comfortable in new situations.
Parents can support friendship-building by:
- Encouraging participation in sports or clubs.
- Arranging playdates with classmates.
- Practising conversation skills at home.
- Helping children introduce themselves to others.
- Encouraging group activities that match their interests.
Rather than focusing on having lots of friends, remind your child that one or two close friendships can be just as valuable.
Parent Tip
Avoid choosing your child’s friends for them. Instead, help them recognise the qualities of a good friend and encourage them to make their own positive choices.
Teaching Good Communication Skills
Strong friendships depend on good communication.
Children should learn how to:
- Speak politely and respectfully.
- Listen without interrupting.
- Express their feelings calmly.
- Ask questions to understand others.
- Solve problems through conversation rather than arguments.
- Respect different opinions even when they disagree.
Practising these skills during everyday family conversations helps children become more confident communicators.
Helping Children Resolve Conflict
Disagreements are a normal part of every friendship. Learning how to handle conflict respectfully is an important life skill.
When your child experiences conflict, encourage them to:
- Stay calm.
- Listen to the other person’s point of view.
- Explain how they feel without blaming others.
- Look for solutions together.
- Forgive when appropriate.
- Know when to ask an adult for help.
Avoid solving every disagreement on your child’s behalf. Instead, guide them through the situation and encourage independent problem-solving whenever possible.
Recognising Unhealthy Friendships
Not every friendship is positive. As children grow, it is important for them to recognise behaviours that are unkind or unhealthy.
Talk to your child about warning signs such as:
- Constant teasing or name-calling.
- Being left out on purpose.
- Feeling pressured to do things they are uncomfortable with.
- Friends who frequently lie or break promises.
- Controlling behaviour.
- Bullying or intimidation.
Children should know they can always speak to a trusted adult if something about a friendship makes them feel worried or unhappy.
Encouraging Empathy and Kindness
Empathy is the ability to understand how another person feels.
Parents can nurture empathy by encouraging children to:
- Think about how their actions affect others.
- Show kindness through small acts.
- Include children who may feel left out.
- Offer help when someone is struggling.
- Celebrate differences and respect diversity.
Children who develop empathy often build stronger friendships because they are better able to understand and support others.
Did You Know?
Research suggests that children who regularly practise kindness often experience greater happiness, stronger friendships, and improved emotional well-being.
Supporting Social Development at Home
Parents have many opportunities to strengthen social skills through everyday activities.
Try to:
- Eat meals together as a family.
- Encourage conversations about school.
- Play board games that require teamwork.
- Role-play different social situations.
- Read books about friendship and emotions.
- Praise acts of kindness and cooperation.
- Model respectful communication in your own relationships.
Remember that children learn as much from what they see as from what they are told.
Quick Checklist
- Encourage kindness and respect.
- Teach children to listen carefully.
- Help your child solve disagreements calmly.
- Arrange opportunities for social interaction.
- Encourage teamwork and cooperation.
- Praise empathy and kindness.
- Discuss the qualities of a good friend.
- Support your child’s independence in building friendships.
- Encourage open conversations about school and friendships.
- Remind your child that quality friendships matter more than quantity.
Key Takeaways
- Friendships help children develop confidence, empathy, and communication skills.
- Positive social skills are learned through practice and everyday experiences.
- Parents play an important role in modelling respectful relationships.
- Children benefit from learning how to resolve conflicts independently.
- Strong friendships are built on kindness, trust, respect, and good communication.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal for children to have friendship problems?
Yes. Most children experience disagreements and changing friendships as they learn important social skills. These experiences help them develop resilience and communication skills.
How can I help my shy child make friends?
Encourage participation in activities they enjoy, arrange small playdates, and practise conversation skills at home. Avoid putting pressure on your child to make lots of friends.
What should I do if my child is being left out?
Listen carefully to your child’s concerns, speak with their teacher if necessary, and help them develop confidence while encouraging friendships in different settings.
How many friends does a child need?
There is no ideal number. One or two genuine, supportive friendships are often more valuable than having a large group of acquaintances.
Call to Action
Learning how to build healthy friendships is an important part of growing up. By helping your child develop kindness, empathy, communication, and problem-solving skills, you can support them in building positive relationships that contribute to their happiness, confidence, and emotional well-being for years to come.
Disclaimer:
This article is intended for general informational purposes only and should not replace professional educational, psychological, or medical advice. If you have concerns about your child’s social development or emotional well-being, seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional or child psychologist.
